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"Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration." |
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Last Night I Dreamed That Somebody Loved Me
Thursday, July 15, 2010  Just another false alarm... I had a dream where I met a girl, her hair was short and brown, dark brown, like her eyes. It was cut off between her shoulder and her smile. Her smile was forever present, she was forever happy and always laughing. There were no downers here. We met along the beach side, we were both walking in the suns late goodbyes. We began to talk, a little bit of this and that. We learned each others names and that was enough. I then took her back to my place, a sleeping bag upon the sands. The sun was now in it's final stages of departure. We watched it set. We lay in the bag, under a small tent roof. We had no sense of time, time itself had no meaning to us at all, nothing else mattered except that we had found each other. We held hands and we lay some more, faces completing puzzles of symmetry. We woke up with a smile, staring each other in the face. She giggled a bit and got up enthusiastically, she was happy be to spending the day with me. She told me how she wanted to do it every morning. There were no thoughts of rain or darkness, no negative in the light we were bathing in. I then awoke, immediately rolling over onto either side in the hopes of seeing her here with me. But she was just there for the night, a few seconds inside my brain where she managed to make me fall in love. The saddest thing is waking up. If I could I'd return to my dream, a dream where I was actually wanted- and never return to this life of desire. Labels: beach, dreams, girl, love, sadness New Hope
Sunday, July 4, 2010 Oh my God, he's actually making a blog post. Actually reason I haven't in a few days is simple- We were without power for over 24 hours. Which was no less than torturous. I use technology as a way to keep myself out of my own head, because when I'm bored I tend to get nostalgic or think about life, and when that happens I just get really depressed. So I spent most of last night doing just that... Not to mention the fact that when my computer/tv is off I can't sleep, I wake up every 2 hours, which happened once again. So currently I'm pretty God damn tired. I had a dream again, I dreamed that I saw a beautiful girl walking on a grass field, so I approached her and asked her if she would mind giving me her number. She smiled and gave it to me. I then texted her later on telling her I thought she was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She returned the text saying "Umm, okay. I don't think we should ever see each other again". Which was kind of odd... I am assuming it's my brain just reaffirming the fact that I am correct in not trying to get girls numbers that I see randomly, and that rejection is just on the cards. I am now about to go visit a friend though that just moved down to near me from up country which could be interesting. I would also like to state that Suarez needs to be punched in the mouth for being a cheap drug smuggling South American cheater. Labels: dreams, electricity, rejection Dream
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 Let's go see the dead lady. Let's go see the dead lady. The room was dim, with a metallic school desk in the middle. There were dents, and dents in his face also. His expression and posture was calm but his eyes darted around, following the imaginary ghosts around the room. Let's go see the dead lady. Why is she dead? Oh miss I don't know. But please ca- There were no cameras, no recorders. It was just him, alone, talking to me. But where was I? I wasn't. Let's go see the dead lady. But the dead lady doesn't speak. She sits, stroking her dead cats and staring at her dead flowers. Motionless, as dent-face stares down at her staring at her dead flowers. Where was I? I wasn't. The dim light flickers off, and the dead lady sleeps. Let's go see the dead lady, in a monotonous voice, lips barely moving, eyes now still. Let's go see the dead lady. But the dead lady doesn't speak. -Kristiina Last night I dreamed...
Thursday, June 17, 2010 Good morning, I love Fridays- despite never doing anything on the weekends. So yesterday, sick and tired of my lack of artistic writing material (yeah right), I decided to use some good old recreational inspiration... in the form of... cheese. That's right, drugs are for suckers- but cheese is king. So I had about 1/3 block before going to bed and what do you know, dreams-galore. While the dreams may be somewhat... well, odd. I will state them anyway since I am a pretty open person and quite frankly couldn't give less of a fuck. So the dream started off where I was walking down the main road in my home town, amongst the diseased. I was walking around dodgy homeless people who were carrying knives and other weaponry. I came across one who began to talk to me in his broken language which was barely comprehensible. He then followed me, staggering like a zombie from one of Romero's films. We both looked up and saw a glowing light in the distance, about 3km away... I knew it was my TV and that he wanted to steal it- and I was having none of it, so I pushed him into a small lake and proceeded to run to my house. When I got to my house, I went straight into my bedroom, when guess who was on my bed... Kristiina. We began talking about life and then about foods. Eventually we stopped talking and began to take our clothes off and started rubbing up against each other, just sort of enjoying the moment. She then bent over the bed to pick something up, and in my true obnoxious fashion... Like a dog, I sort of slipped one into her... Though she was having none of it at that point in time, "Oi! Not now", she exclaimed. "I want to go have a shower first". So I opened the bedroom door and showed her to the bathroom. After about 15 minutes I went to check how she was doing, and the door was wide open- I went inside and she gave me an angry look and said "Do you mind? I'm busy", I then told her that in our house if you don't want people entering you need to close to the bathroom door and lock it, she just smiled and acknowledged, and then closed the door. After she was done showering we went to the beach where I went down to the water and began digging a hole in the sand, and for each 30cm I dug I would find new and interesting things. First I came across some average rocks, and threw them aside, then I came across some smooth rocks that resembled eggs, then an old piece of wreckage and so forth. And well that was my nights dream, and I am sure glad no one reads this blog or it may be slightly awkward. Besides, I can't be held responsible for that which my subconscious does. At least last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. Speaking of Kristiina, she gets back today :D Labels: beach, dreams, love, sex No Rest For The Weeping
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 So I dreamt of her again, the one of whom I hate to dream. The one of whom I love to hate and the one of whom I hate to love. An encounter closer to reality this time... I was finding her blogs and reading them, I was finding her art and critiquing it. Then I came across a post of hers decorated with some images of her face. It read something along the lines of "Went on holiday today, it was great- we stopped off in Finland and the snow was amazing, I loved it. This is my first time travelling to Europe, and so far the stops have been fantastic... I'm also getting my dress back soon, Yay I'm getting Elizabeth (sp) back." It then had some photos of her and quite frankly she looked far worse than she actually does, and this gave me some comfort. I don't want that which I cannot have to be beautiful, I want it to be tattered and torn, a reject which no one else would accept- this may drive her back to me. And to be honest I woke up with disappointment, only to find that she isn't as grotesque as my dream had told me. I just also realized that there are links between that dream and Kristiina. Both the name of the dress and the location where she was heading (Europe) and the fact that she stopped by in Kristiina's home country. Though I doubt this has any relevance. I dream of the nightmare like clockwork, at least once a week. And I can assure you it's by no choice of my own- it's been 2 years and the dreams haven't stopped, I've tried replacing them with new ones but the new ones never last. The primary problem with this is that I go to sleep fairly happy at times, will dream of her and wake up completely depressed, with my mind running like a nostalgic slideshow. Like an accident, I don't want to think about it, but I can't help it. What's the point in trying to heal a wound when every time it scabs over you unintentionally scratch it open, only to have to go through the whole process again. I think love and hate are far more closely related that people sometimes think, love and hate are not opposites. They are merely branches on a tree called passion. Labels: dreams, gabi, hate, love, passion Clean of Dreams
So I've been struck by the irony of Kristiina and I talking about how posting our dreams would be a cool idea, and ever since then I can not remember what I dreamed about the night before. I usually have really odd dreams, and remember them vividly- but over the past few days I wake up with a blank mind, which kind of makes the whole blog thing less exciting. So now I have to talk about what I did today or something. I actually cleaned my room today, which if you know me- is a rare rare event happening maybe once every 4 months or so. Took me like 6 hours of cleaning, mostly listening to Wolf Parade (check em out) and watching the football World Cup. I also found out that I have a thing about keeping ex girlfriends clothing, I found 3 pairs of underwear, 2 bras and 2 scarfs. Trophies? Maybe. But I wouldn't dare to throw them away. Even though I am over most of them, I just do not like getting rid of things that are evidence of the past. I also sadly broke the peace treaty I have with the spiders in my room, I let them nest where they want and in return they do not attack me in my sleep, though today I accidentally pillaged their colonies, so if there is no post tomorrow it's because I was eaten alive. I also miss Kristiina, my MSN feels so lonely. Labels: cleaning, dreams, room, spiders, wolf parade |
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